I remember being in line at a drive thru bank one day in 1970 something with my mom, impatiently waiting for my tootsie roll that the tellers handed out to kids.
My mom, whose best lessons were invariably taught to my brother and I when we were trapped in the car- was talking to me about God that day- and said that He loved me more than anyone else in the world loved me. She told me to think of the people that loved me most in the world, and to remember that they could not possibly love me as much as God did. Even her!! I remember being a little stunned and suspicious that God could love me more than my own mom did. As much as I loved God at age 8 or so, I was pretty sure that I did not love God as much as I loved my mom!!
She explained that the reason she and I loved each other so much was because God WAS that love. That's how we know him. That love is how we know we could trust him no matter what.
God has given me one lesson over and over again during my life. Trust him. Not my emotions, not my intellectualizing or rationalizations.
Just. Trust. Him.
Let go of what I can clearly not do anything about, do what I can do and leave the rest to Him.
I have created trainwrecks in my life when I have chosen to ignore this message. I have taken things into my own hands because God wasn't moving fast enough for me, or because I was selfish, or afraid, or in a pit of despair. Or sometimes, all of those things together.
And when I have been wrecked from consequences of my own doing, instead of giving me the wrath I deserve, He has picked me up and given me hope. He's given me His miraculous healing mercy and grace when I deserve it the least.
And he lets me try it again and sometimes I fall on my face, but sometimes I don't. I'm getting to the age where I see these lessons so much more clearly over my lifetime and I'm better equipped to remember to lean into Him first. I'm so thankful he has never given up on me.
This series has been a meditation of sorts for me. They have been created in the midst of stormy weather this past month- health, parents, family, transition, stress and worry thrown in for good measure. The paintings aren't complicated, they are words and verses and poetry combined with paintings, and they are a little bit of my soul laid out. A series of prayers that have grounded and calmed my soul.
Along with the difficulties, we have also had hummingbirds flitting around joyfully out on our deck, and they have been such a source of peace to watch. They never fail to bring me into the present moment and remind me that there is joy in LIFE, no matter what our circumstances are. They have drawn me to them again and again. They tell me to pay attention to the beauty, joy and life in the midst of it all, because we are always in the midst of it all, one way or another.
Maybe all of us need that reminder now and again. We are not alone in this journey. Our lives ebb and flow according to our individual path, but each of us experiences ALL the things- the good, the bad and the ugly. To everything there is a season, and to be there for each other during each season is everything.
So, this series is dedicated to you, and whatever you're going through. I hope you remember you are loved beyond measure, and that you have a God who is waiting for you to let it go and leave it with Him.
Slow down, listen, connect with me Beloved child- I am the way through. This is my life lesson. I'm passing it on to you.