Since the last time I wrote my blog, my son completed his high school years and embarked on a new path at a university 4 hours away.
Having a child grow up and leave is natural and expected. What is not expected is that your heart still very literally feels the 18 year old young man, as a baby in your arms. The memory of the form of that child, the warmth, the connection- still so freshly severed- remains. Both in time and now in the space between you.
I've been thinking a lot about time lately, the way it simply meanders along like a mountain stream until we have something to mark it with. A birth, a new school year, a marriage . Like river rocks that direct the trajectory of the water, create rapids and pools, giving the stream its personality..
Perhaps we mark our time as humans because we have a need to slow down and pay attention to a place, give it significance, remember that we were here, together, that we loved deeply, and grew as human beings, experiencing life more wholly precisely because we know time changes things - creating endings and new beginnings. .
When painting with watercolor, it is the letting go of control that allows beauty to unfold on paper. The water, pigment and paper all play a part, but the paradox of watercolor is that the more you try to force the paint to do what you want, the more it finds it's own way.
The trick then is to relax and allow yourself the space to react to what the watercolor is doing, Paint, watch, take a breath, make another mark, follow the water. Don't force it, don't panic, just allow it. That's when the magic happens.
Back from taking my son to his new home, I am ready to embark on this new bend in the river, following the water, anticipating new wonders for us all.
**Here is my latest watercolor portrait, a commission for a dear friend's granddaughter. If you would like to commission a watercolor portrait of a person or pet, all I need is a good quality photo with nice lighting on the subject.