So this week has been pretty much not what I expected. That seems to sum up my life at this point most days. Which can be both good and bad. Whatever it is, it keeps you on your toes.
My dad is in the hospital with a sudden onset of sepsis, which is quite serious when you're on your 78th trip around the sun. He's holding his own, my dad is an old Norwegian, after all. Tough as nails, complex, accomplished, intelligent and gentle human being. If only his body would respect that.
My mom is with me while dad is hospitalized and I love that and enjoy our time, but it can make me a little crazy some days. Like go scream in a pillow crazy. Because she's not quite the same anymore and reconciling that in your mind is not as easy as one might think. Dementia has taken a little bit of her away from me. I love and admire who she is- past, present, future. But I really miss my mom some days.
So I am doing my 31 days of 31 paintings, and I'm a little behind from all of this, but I am determined to catch up. With all that is going on; my art and my blog are keeping me focused in a world that seems to have conspired against me some days.
I'm trying to see the forest for the trees in this area of my life. As well as in other areas. The problem is that the forest is not necessarily one that I recognize or desire, for that matter. Some days God seems to be telling me that this big picture I'm supposed to be seeing is going to be there when I'm ready to see it and not before. My job now is to keep my peace and quiet on the inside amid the storms of my life.
And lucky for me, my art does that. It is the place I can go to heal and grow no matter what. It is a gift that I have neglected too often and I am so thankful to have the "pressure" of this 31 in 31 to keep on keepin' on.
So, here goes- this is I think day 14 on day 17, but whose counting. This is an older painting,
but I'm working on a few things today. I'm here and I'm painting. That forest is coming into focus.