One thing I know, as I have joined the "50's club", is that by this stage in life, we have all experienced moments that come along and punch us in the gut. A moment compressed- expanding into past and future until you feel like you've lost your grip on reality. All the senses screaming that life is never going to be the same.
Something has shifted, like tectonic plates miles beneath our consciousness- unseen, unexpected, unrealized. Suddenly the landscape is unrecognizable around you. Caving in around your feet. Descending into darkness.
Maybe it's happened to you; the death of someone you share your life with, a few words that deliver a life threatening diagnosis, addiction, surviving an assault, discovering your spouse has betrayed you.
These moments shake us to the core of our being. Making us feel crazy, as suddenly the life we know becomes a foreign landscape.
After the disillusionment and chaos of the mind begin to find center again, we find ourselves searching for our compass. Inevitably we lurch toward light, only to fall facedown, then crawl to our feet, where we can sharpen our focus through the fog that has descended.
When this cycle has repeated and exhausted our being, we find it. Strength from the depths of our being will emerge. We are not even aware of it's presence until that day. This relief and peace happens when we loosen our grip and let God in. He is waiting for us to ask. If you have been through 50 years of life , you know what I'm talking about. Your human brain, finally realizes that your need to control was all a mirage. There is no controlling. There is only strength and peace in the letting go.
After the panic, your soul finds a place where it can rest in it's new found strength. And all at once a tiny crack- like a chick beginning to peck its way out of her shell- appears. Allowing the light to penetrate the darkness
It is through this crack where healing can begin. The light begins to reveal that our own mind has kept us prisoner to grief, loss, trauma and fear. We see that darkness is an illusion.
The truth is that we are actually surrounded by light if we continue to peck at the shell a little at a time. No matter how small, each effort, each crack, makes the light brighter and creates new possibilities of breaking free.
The shell may have served a purpose, but it's time is over, and once we become aware of our entrapment, there is no choice but to find a way out and into a new reality. Staying where you are means atrophy and darkness. Outside is light, growth, and finally, flight into the beautiful, whole life God has planned for us since the beginning. Take care, my friends. And may you find the light, every day.